Thursday, February 22, 2007

the grand exit...

hello, howdy, hi, hollah, and aloha!



on that note, let me bring it down a few notches...



* how many of you have seriously thought about dying and/or death?


amidst the crazy and ongoing media circus surrounding anna nicole's shocking demise, i have been sitting here losing sleep over the fact that, due to court deliberations on where she will be laid to rest, her body is currently sitting somewhere bagged up like a ziplock sandwich -- and now the freaking corpse is in the initial stages of decay!!??

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i'm sorry folks, but this is not in ANY WAY, kosher with me...



so naturally, i started to think about where i would want my fabulous body to go that fateful day, for my "grand finale" in life. it's not something i would normally sit and ponder on of course, but now that i have, i'm glad to be writing this -- as freakishly morbid as it might sound!


i came up with 2 options after about 3.5 minutes of "deep" thought...


option #1: freezing my ass til' 3017, aka - CRYONIC PRESERVATION(www.alcor.org)


okay, i know that you've all heard of this at some point in the past 3 years...but for those of you who need a little refresher, here's a definition from answers.com:

cry·on·ics (krī-ŏn'ĭks)
n. (used with a sing. verb)
The process of freezing and storing the body of a diseased, recently deceased person to prevent tissue decomposition so that at some future time the person might be brought back to life upon development of new medical cures.

[CRY(O)– + -onics, as in BIONICS.]

cryonic cry·on'ic adj.

(the receptacle where cryonically preserved bodies are kept in liquid nitrogen!)
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i mean, seriously, WHY THE HELL NOT? you're dead anyways, right? and the possibility of waking up 50, 60, 70 years from now into a completely different world is a chance of a lifetime (or two). could you imagine the cars? the robots? the food??? don't even get me started on the shoes and hairstyles...




option #2: turning my body into a flawless princess cut diamond, via LIFEGEM (www.lifegem.com)


(an actual lifegem.)
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okay, so this is a procedure i had heard about on 20/20 like 2 years back. this company (lifegem) takes the remains from a body's cremation, isolates and purifies the carbon, and compresses it into a diamond of your specified cut, color, and clarity....which in turn would be worn by your loved one, or passed on like a family heirloom. for around $20,000 plus, you are immortalized into a piece of art.

after all, a diamond IS forever! (in the backround...."BAAAALLINNNN!")


WOW, maybe i'm cuckoo. like britney spears status.


okay i'm out.


xxxxxxooooooooooooo


c.